George Carlin Quotes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

#funny #idiot #maniac #driving

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

#yesterday #procrastination #lazy

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.

#funny #america #ticket

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

#funny #stuff #house

People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.

#people #thinking #opinion

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

#funny #peace #virginity

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

#funny #drinking #tequila

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

#cynical #idealist #disappointment

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

#hear #music #dance #perspective

Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything.

#question #teach #read #children

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.

#life #love #hate #values

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

#funny #idiot #argue

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