Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
#funny
#idiot
#maniac
#driving
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More George Carlin Quotes
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
George Carlin
#yesterday
#procrastination
#lazy
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When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
#funny
#america
#ticket
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
#funny
#stuff
#house
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People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
George Carlin
#people
#thinking
#opinion
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin
#funny
#peace
#virginity
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
#funny
#drinking
#tequila
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
#cynical
#idealist
#disappointment
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
#hear
#music
#dance
#perspective
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Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything.
George Carlin
#question
#teach
#read
#children
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We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
#life
#love
#hate
#values
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Related Quotes
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
#want
#done
#funny
#leadership
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If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
Dalai Lama
#motivation
#difference
#funny
#mosquito
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Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!
Jeffrey Gitomer
#change
#funny
#reaction
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My mind is made up. Don’t confuse me with the facts.
Roy S. Durstine
#mind
#funny
#fact
#confuse
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Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
Terry Pratchett
#person
#funny
#old
#young
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I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Oscar Wilde
#funny
#heaven
#friends
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You matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy.
Anonymous
#funny
#science
#physics
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Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
Stephen Hawking
#life
#funny
#tragic
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Don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good.
Anonymous
#good
#funny
#stupid
#sad
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe!
Albert Einstein
#human
#funny
#stupid
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