Isn't it such a weird feeling - when you know you are going to suffer at your own hands? ["He does not believe that does not live according to his belief." - Thomas Fuller, Sigmund Freud] I wish you a good life but that doesn't mean more than "I care for you", my fellow being, only you control your own life, our beloved.
Come on, it's not so hard, take that shower and jump infinitely forward in the never-ending road of self improvement.
Also, be happy!
[The painting is "Planta Insumsia" (Plant Insumsia) by Remedios Varo]